‘How Love Found Us’

 

Is it random happenstance, or a knowing Fate? An achievement, or merely a lucky gift from the universe? We all know that marriage takes work, but finding the person you love enough to marry can also involve a bit of magic, depending on how you interpret your story. We at BERGEN have no general theory of how to find romantic happiness, but we can present anecdotal evidence. That’s because a dozen readers were kind enough to share their meeting-a-mate autobiographies. We wish them—and you—a Happy Valentine’s Day!

 

DARIUS WHEELER AND ROBERT BANNON, LEONIA:

“I, born and raised in Ridgefield Park, had just released a new album entitled Unfinished Business. On it was a song called ‘I Think He Knew.’ The song became a Pride anthem, and the video went viral—it was about parents accepting their sons. Well, all the way in Detroit, Michigan, Darius Wheeler was planning and booking acts for Motor City Pride, Michigan’s largest Pride event, with over 60K attendees a year.

“After Darius saw the video, he reached out to my publicist, Angela Thomas, to inquire about me going to Detroit to perform. As Angela wrote in an email to me, ‘He seems to be the real deal. You should go!’ Well, I went. Darius set me up with a car service, accommodations—he rolled out the red carpet. When I met him, there was as an undeniable spark. Darius has an energy about him that is a magnet. At first you see his tall, beautiful self, but then you talk to him and see his spirit, heart and care for the ones he loves, I am incredibly lucky!

“After I performed my set of music, Darius asked me to grab a quick dinner at a local downtown Detroit staple, the Checker Bar. That dinner turned into four hours of walking around downtown Detroit, talking about life, dreams and aspirations. It was a little over a year later that we officially became a couple.

On New Year’s Eve 2023, Darius asked me to be his forever person in Christmas Village, blocks away from our first date walking downtown. Where did we ring in the new year?

Why, the Checker Bar, of course! “Our New Jersey wedding is set for 5/25/25.”

 

STEPHANIE AND SHADNER LOISEAU, LEONIA:

“We met in the most unexpected place—a nightclub. It was a girls’ night out. I noticed him standing near the bar. He wasn’t trying to stand out, just sipping his drink with a calm confidence that immediately caught my attention.

“My girlfriend dared me to approach him. Normally, I’d brush it off, but something about that night—and him—felt different.

“We spent what felt like hours talking. By the end of the evening, I handed him my number and said, ‘I made the first move. Now it’s your turn.’ He called the very next day, and the rest is history.”

 

HEATHER AND MICHAEL CORRIGAN, ORADELL:

“We met at the old Houlihan’s on Wall Street in NYC. Mike worked as a paralegal in a law firm. I had just graduated from Fashion Institute of Technology and was a buyer at Century 21 department store right across the street from Houlihan’s. I was there with my crew from the store and he was there with his work pals. His friend Selwyn said, ‘What do you see when you look in her eyes?’ meaning me, and he said, ‘A beautiful lady!’ I usually would not fall for this but I did. He was actually dating another girl at the time, but he went home and told his mom all about me.

“Then I was in a very bad car accident the next night. He came to my bedside, dumped the other girl and the rest is history. We went through a lot, me being Jewish from Long Island and Mike Irish Catholic from the Bronx. We were married at the New York Botanical Garden in 2004 by a lady rabbi. We had a chuppah and a unity candle. Mike later converted around the time of our son’s bar mitzvah. Both our kids had bar/bat mitzvahs that were unique— our daughter’s with a Spider-Man theme, and our son’s in a cool loft with New York Giants football player Stephen Baker, ‘the touchdown maker.’

“Now, 30 years later, the kids are doing great, Mike runs the prepared food section at Whole Foods in Paramus and is a pharmaceutical rep, and I’m ‘Heather the Hurricane,’ a Realtor. We’re the best team!”

 

LYNDA AND JOHN MAMONE, FRANKLIN LAKES:

“Our story sounds make-believe, but it’s true. I’d just graduated in June from Boonton High School and was hired by Bamberger’s at Willowbrook Mall starting in September. The first time I noticed ‘him’ riding the escalator, I told my family I saw my future husband. In December, he asked me to dinner in NYC, and on our first date I knew he was the one. (By the way, at dinner he told me he would never get married!)

“He had a military obligation and would be leaving in January for Officers Candidate School. John, my husband for 56 years, asked me to marry him nine days after I met him. In the picture above we are celebrating John’s 80th birthday, 9/11/2024. We have three sons, two wonderful daughters-in-law and two amazing, loving granddaughters.”

 

PEMA CHEN AND KEN SUCHOSKI, TENAFLY:

“My husband and I met on Bumble, a dating app. I asked Ken to go skydiving, and while we didn’t go as a first date, we went for his birthday a few months later.

“I thought he was cute, and I liked that he kept texting me and even suggested a phone call before we met. We met at a Vietnamese restaurant, Mamak, for our first date. The funny thing is, I thought Ken didn’t want to pay for the meal because he left the check next to him for quite a while. So I offered to pay. Turns out he didn’t want the date to end and was worried we’d get rushed out of the restaurant if he paid. We repeat our first date every year for our anniversary.

“Our most dramatic date was our fifth. We went to The Smith, a booth-style restaurant where everyone is crammed together like sardines. I had a couple of drinks and because of my low blood pressure, I blacked out and fell over onto the lap of an elderly lady next to me (luckily, a retired nurse!) and ended up going to the hospital. I thought Ken was going to leave me in the hospital, but he stayed overnight and then took me home and made me tea. I knew he was a keeper. In 2025 we’ll have been together 10 years.”

 

DAWN AND RICK MARSHALL, TOWNSHIP OF WASHINGTON:

“I was lucky enough to marry the guy I fell head over heels for when I was 16—although it took years. A new restaurant named Just Alan’s had opened in Harrington Park. I was hired as the coat check girl, and a boy named Ricky Marshall (who stole my heart, although he didn’t know I was alive) was a busboy. We worked together until the warm weather came, and there was no longer a need for a coat check girl. But my older sister was a waitress there, so I was still able to see and somewhat socialize with this adorable busboy.

“A few years went by, both of us dating others, and by 1982 we were official! But we would be an ‘on again, off again’ couple for the first few years. It seemed every late spring we would slowly stop talking and by fall we would pick up right where we left off. By 1987 we found our groove and became a serious couple. We were married in March of 1990, and had our twins in March of 1993. Our third child was born in 1995.

“Life wasn’t always easy, but we made it work. Rick’s mom had MS and was wheelchair-bound since Rick was in his teens. She needed him more than most moms, as his dad traveled a lot for work. He never minded, and neither did I, as that is what you do for family. When our twins were born, one of them had life-threatening health issues and was whisked away into Manhattan for the first of 13 surgeries, all by the time he was two-and-a-half. The stress of worrying if our child would be OK took a toll on us, but as my mother once told me, ‘This is what makes a marriage a marriage. Not all happy times and fun, but the hard times you can make it through.’

“Those words of wisdom have always stayed with me. We laugh through as much as we can. We have taught our children (all boys) how to be good caring men, and to not take everything too seriously.

“I often tease Rick that it was ‘love at first sight’ for me, and he never stood a chance of not marrying me! I thank God every day for this wonderful man. Sometimes the wait is truly worth it. Here we are, 42 years later, still happily married. When people ask what’s our secret, we always say, ‘keeping your sense of humor, and laughing with each other every day.’”

 

TOM ALOISE AND ALAN CHORM, WALDWICK:

“Our love story didn’t begin with fireworks or grand gestures, or even with a second glance at the bar. It started virtually, with a swipe right and a matching profile on a dating app. “We both lived nearby, so we quickly agreed to meet for a drink at the Baccarat Hotel in NYC. We each had our exit strategies: I was counting on my friend Billie to call in a fake emergency, and Tom had Emily on standby with the same plan.

“What followed was—a bit awkward, to say the least. We each ordered a martini, and while Tom, the eternal optimist, powered through his, I couldn’t finish mine. In what seemed like a perfectly casual gesture, I slid my drink across the table to Tom. And that was it—the moment we both realized: Maybe this could work—if Tom was always there to finish my martinis.

“I was fresh out of a complicated breakup, and admittedly a bit guarded. My skepticism wasn’t just about relationships—it was also about the whole ‘dating someone from New Jersey’ thing. I’d lived my entire life in New York City, and the idea of settling down anywhere outside the city limits? Unthinkable. But Tom wasn’t going to let that deter him. He was convinced from the moment they met that I was the one.

“Over the next few months, we spent more time together, including weekends in New Jersey with Tom’s family, which, surprisingly, I found charming. We both loved animals, so it was no surprise that among the things that first drew us together were my adorable but slightly spoiled dog Alfie and his two mischievous Bengal cats, Atticus and Luci. Tom had a collection of pets as well growing up.

“Still, I wasn’t ready to give up the bustle of NYC and the convenience of walking everywhere. But Tom wasn’t backing down. He had a Volvo, a quiet persistence and a love for me that grew with every weekend trip to the suburbs. And when I realized that New Jersey wasn’t such a bad place, that was when things started to click.

“Fast-forward almost three years later, and I was packing up for a move to Bergen County. We found a charming little saltbox colonial home in Waldwick, franchised a designer cabinetry business together at the new Paramus Design Center, and with every passing day, I found myself appreciating more and more the unexpected beauty of suburban life.”

 

SUSAN AND MIKE COLELLA, TOWNSHIP OF WASHINGTON:

“We both played sports for Montclair State. Soon after our first encounter, Mike showed an interest in me, and he approached a mutual friend to see if she could be a matchmaker. But at the time I was in a relationship, and I said I could only pursue friendship, nothing more. As the years went by, we played ‘relationship ping-pong.’ When I was out of my relationship, Mike was in one. When Mike was out of his relationship, I was in one.

“It took three-and-a-half years for anything to begin. We were heading into our last year of college and training camp, and it was summer. I walked into a sports bar with 10 male friends, my brother and my soon-to-be ex. We sat down, had some wings and then headed out. On the way out this guy caught my eye. I rounded the turn, stopped my brother and said, ‘I think I know him.’ He said to go back and say hi, but I was too nervous. I walked out bummed that I did not go back, a little disappointed in myself.

“The next evening I received a call, and the caller said, ‘Do you know who this is?’ I said, ‘I think it’s Mike.’ It was. It took him all summer to track down my phone number, and he was hesitant to call. Mike was giving his friend an update on his mission to track down my number, and at that moment, I walked in. He looked at his friend and said, ‘That’s her!’ After that, he knew he had to call; it was just too odd of a coincidence. We talked for some time and agreed to go out on a ‘group date.’

“Our first date was with friends at a college bar that stank of stale beer. It was the best date I have ever had! The next day I broke up with my boyfriend without hesitation and told my mom I’d met the guy I was going to marry. She rolled her eyes at me as if to say I was young and dumb, but I knew this was special. We were soulmates.

“Mike and I have been married for 23 years and created a family. We’re still each other’s best friends. It’s funny how fate and some chicken wings can bring people together.”

 

JAMES AND MARY JARMUSCH, FAIR LAWN:

“I met my bride-to-be at Montclair State College, when it was still a ‘college.’ We met on a weekend trip during our freshman seminar course. She gave me her phone number on a piece of paper. That piece of paper joined my jeans in the wash when I got home. Rough start. We joined similar groups and reconnected over the years at Montclair. Her friends, my friends and our friends enjoyed our college days. We held a fake wedding ceremony at the college bar one afternoon, even before we started dating.

“Our primary college club was called the Human Relations Organization (HRO), and it focused on communication skills. It was the best decision in my life to join. We still have a dozen strong friends that we see on a regular basis for birthdays and holidays. They are our extended family, and our children call them aunts or uncles.

“Mary was a South Jersey girl—it took me a while to understand the pork roll thing. We saw Gone with the Wind at the Rosebud Theatre in Ridgewood, I introduced her to Van Dyk’s ice cream, and we danced on Saturday nights at the Fairfield Inn in Paramus well before Bonefish Grill came along. We were able to have a dinner at Omar’s in Fair Lawn before it became a TD Bank, and she was even willing to brave the Bendix Diner with me one late evening. She is fully a part of me. My life evolved with her, and it now revolves around her. She is my bride, my life, my love, my all.”

 

IVELISSE & ALEX DELGADO, MAHWAH:

“Our love story began in Hackensack High School, 1989. The first thing that attracted to me to him was his smile. I was quiet and shy, so I never dared to approach him. We then ran into each other a few weeks later in a more intimate setting and the same smile lit up the room. He was very funny and lively. We have been inseparable ever since. Now we are celebrating our 35th anniversary on Valentine’s Day. We have three beautiful children and are proud grandparents.”

 

REBECCA AND MICHAEL SEBAHIE, MAYWOOD:

“Our story feels straight out of a movie—set in the most unexpected of places: a boxing gym inside Crunch Fitness in Paramus, where we first crossed paths in March 2016.

“I admired Michael from afar as he trained with laser focus, never imagining he noticed me. Little did I know, he had been sneaking glances my way too. That same month, I heard through the grapevine that he was competing in the NJ Golden Gloves tournament in Asbury Park. With excitement (and maybe a bit of nerves), I made the trip with a friend to watch him compete.

“After his win, I went to congratulate Michael and our coach. His shocked expression when he saw me there was priceless—especially since we had never exchanged a single word before. The very next day, we started messaging on Instagram and decided to meet for ice cream at the Dairy Queen in Rochelle Park.

“When Michael asked for my address to pick me up, he thought I was pulling a prank. It turned out that we lived just two blocks apart, but the way our street was divided placed us in separate towns. From his bedroom window, he could actually see my house!

“That meeting at Dairy Queen was the beginning of something magical. On May 2021, our five-year anniversary, Michael proposed in the beautiful Ringwood Botanical Gardens, and we tied the knot in November 2023 at Perona Farms in Andover. Fast-forward to today—a cat, two dogs, and countless memories later.

“It’s been an incredible journey, and I can’t wait to see what the future holds for us.”

 

ABBY AND RICK SATEL, RIVER EDGE:

“Rick and I met on a blind date in March 1987 (introduced by his high school girlfriend). We both knew immediately that this was it, especially when we named our children on our second date. (And we eventually used those names!) Got engaged in November and married two years later, in September 1989.

“He grew up in Tenafly (THS ‘81) and I in River Edge (RDHS ‘82). Thirty-five years later we are still living in our River Edge home, one mile from my childhood home.

“We met after college. I was working with his ex, and she was tired of me complaining about the guys I was dating. She gave him my number and he called me.

“We had dinner at Benihana in NYC, and there was a drunk man on my other side, so we spent the entire time joking with and about him. By the time we left the restaurant we were friends. (The secret to a happy marriage: friends first!)

“Life hasn’t been simple or easy, but lhumor, communication, sarcasm and a lot of love have all kept us going.”