Love Speak
“How did you meet?” It’s a question that inevitably comes up during conversations about relationships. BERGEN asked four now-married couples to share their stories.
Falling in love can be one of the most wonderful—and, for some, slightly terrifying—experiences. There are many ways to meet someone who is so special that you can’t imagine spending the rest of your life without them. But the first time you set eyes on that person evokes different feelings for different folks. Maybe it was someone you’d secretly had a crush on for ages or an old flame that you wanted to rekindle. Or the cliché love—or disinterest—at first sight. No matter how you initially connected, it’s your love story to tell.
These four local couples recall to BERGEN how they fell in love: a Closter husband and wife find their way back together after a brief high school dalliance; a Mahwah pair who had no intention of dating one another; a Lyndhurst couple’s high school friendship leads to marriage and family; and after 10 years of orbiting the same social circles, two Wood-Ridge musicians tie the knot.
High School Sweethearts
“He just kissed me.”
Both 32, Nikki and Scott Wiese of Lyndhurst have been together half of their lives, an impressive feat in this day and age. But the initial love connection almost didn’t happen. The two met as freshmen at Lyndhurst High School, and Nikki didn’t see Scott as anything more than a good pal—for another two years. “My friends always said Scott had a crush on me, but I always just saw us as friends,” Nikki recalls. Yet Scott truly was feeling the stirrings of young love—eventually, he’d start waiting outside of Nikki’s Italian class for the chance to carry her books and walk her to her next classroom. “I’m not really sure how Nikki felt about me at that time,” says Scott, but the two fell into a comfortable routine for the rest of the school year. It wasn’t until the following summer at a house party that Scott finally made his move. “Scott and I were just sitting and talking like we always did, then he just kissed me,” explains Nikki. “We’ve been together since that moment. Something clicked. It just felt right.” Scott agrees. “Being with her simply made me happy,” he says. “The thought of going to hang out together at a football game or at Mr. Bruno’s for a slice of pizza put a smile on my face.”
That’s not to say their relationship has been smooth sailing—the pair have grown up together, navigating the rocky transition from teenagers to young adults and, now, parents. “There were many people who would tell us that it’s not healthy to only be with one person, that we should explore the world or learn more about ourselves without being in a relationship,” says Nikki. “It was discouraging at times, but we knew we wanted to stay together— and we didn’t want to be with anyone else.” After 16 years together, seven years of marriage and three children under the age of 4, it still feels right. “When I look at Nikki, I see the same person that I was waiting in the hallway for all those years ago and look forward to everything that comes our way in the future,” says Scott. “I can honestly say Scott is my best friend and the love of my life,” shares Nikki. “I wouldn’t change our story for anything.”
A Rekindled Flame
“He was still beautiful.”
Karen Friberg knew it was love when Nick Mrnarevic gave her a python for Christmas. Because she’s a “total reptile freak,”a scaly, slithery python was something she’d always wanted, but her parents drew the line at allowing only lizards in their house. Nick fulfilled Karen’s greatest desire. And the rest, as they say, is history.
The Closter couple grew up a block apart in Norwood, and as classmates at Northern Valley Regional High School at Old Tappan, they were a study in contrasts. Karen, 32, describes herself back then as a “studious theater nerd who wrote a lot of poetry, wore thriftstore hippie dresses and listened to Joni Mitchell,” while Nicholas, 37, was a popular football player with a rebellious streak. After a fleeting make-out session behind the high school followed by a few weeks of sharing a ride to school, Karen and Nick went their separate ways. One fateful night a few years later, Karen and a pal met up at the Sidewalk Café in Piermont, N.Y., a favorite hangout. Little did she know Nick would be there. “He was still beautiful,” Karen recalls. As she remembered Nick was engaged to a girl from high school, she inquired how the wedding plans were going—only to find out the two were no longer together. Outwardly, she told him she was sorry to hear the news, “but inside, I was more than mildly pleased,” says Karen. “I gave him my number and told him to call if he ever wanted to talk or hang out. He called me the next day.”
They began dating, much to the chagrin of Karen’s mother: Karen broke up with her then-boyfriend to see where things would go with Nick. But now, after three children and nine years of marriage, their relationship continues to bring both of them happiness. “The first thing I really fell in love with about her is how she laughs,” says Nick. “She laughs as if her soul is laughing. It’s a wonderfully loud sound, and her whole body laughs with her when she does. If I can make her laugh every single day, then I’m a very happy man.” Karen cherishes Nick because of “how much he values me as a partner and a mom, and how he lets me know it all the time.” Like any couple, they’ve faced their challenges. But through it all, Karen says, the pair continue to support one another. “I really think that if you’re going to stick with a person,” she explains, “you have to feel loved and valued, and make your partner feel the same way.”
Disinterested Parties
“He was the biggest stuffed shirt I’d ever met.”
It wasn’t love at first sight for Addie, 60, and Rick Moore, 62, of Mahwah. Addie, who was sitting in her Ho-Ho-Kus travel agency one wintry January day in 1983 when a stranger strolled in. “He was a sales rep for Ford, and his biggest client was right down the street from my office,” Addie explains. “He came in one day to plan a trip to Mexico for himself and his girlfriend.” She booked the trip, and Rick and his girlfriend went to Mexico. She didn’t expect to see him again. “I thought he was the biggest stuffed shirt I’d ever met,” she recalls. “He was very buttoned-up and businesslike.”
But Rick returned to the travel agency to set up another trip—this time to his home state of Oklahoma. When Addie asked if his girlfriend would be accompanying him, Rick only asked Addie to book the travel under “Mr. and Mrs. Moore,” as things hadn’t worked out. A few weeks later, Rick was back again. Addie asked if he had found a Mrs. “Are you applying?” he joked. Her response? “Nope!” One day, on her way down the street to pick up a bagel for breakfast, Addie found Rick sitting in his car with papers splayed every which way on his dashboard; a makeshift office. “I knocked on his window and told him, ‘I have an extra desk if you need to use it,’” she remembers. “But I told him he had to bring bagels if he stopped in.”
Addie will tell you she had absolutely no interest in Rick as a potential partner; Rick says, “It was definitely not love at first sight. I wasn’t looking for a girlfriend, just a place to do my paperwork.” Rick started coming in every Friday— with bagels—and he and Addie struck up a friendship. “He wasn’t as stuffy as I’d thought. He had a great sense of humor,” Addie recalls. By summer, Rick asked Addie out on a date, and she agreed. When Rick showed up, Addie was dressed to the nines, wearing heels. Then she discovered Rick planned to take her out on the water. “Addie’s travel agency had a sailboat as part of its logo,” explains Rick. “I owned a sailboat and loved to sail. So taking her out on my boat as our first date seemed like a good idea.”
More dates followed, but without major commitment from either party. The tipping point finally came when Addie invited him to her house for a birthday get-together. As the two of them were racquetball enthusiasts, Rick showed up with a gift he was sure would make her happy: a ball keeper. “Nothing says ‘romance’ like a racquetball keeper!” Addie jokes. “We laugh about that all the time.” From there, the relationship blossomed. Addie threw Rick a surprise 30th birthday party, secretly flying in his sister from Colorado. Says Addie: “Rick claims that’s when he knew it was love.” An engagement followed and the pair wed in August 1986, despite Rick’s transfer to a position in Maryland prior to the nuptials. Unwilling to leave her travel agency, Addie stayed in New Jersey and the two only saw each other on weekends for the first year of marriage. Only when Addie became pregnant did Rick return to New Jersey for good.
Now, 30 years and two daughters later, the two can’t imagine being apart. “We enjoy each day together,” says Rick. Time hasn’t dulled their feelings for one another. “He is still one of the most considerate men I’ve ever met,” Addie gushes. And Rick is just as in love with her: “Addie is very intelligent, caring, compassionate, attractive, a great cook and a wonderful mother—and the best wife a man could be blessed with.”
A Secret Crush
"I always thought he was cute."
It’s no surprise—at least to those who know them—that music eventually bound together Alana Quartuccio, 42, and Anthony Bonillo, 48. The two married rock musicians from Wood- Ridge first met back in 1998 when their bands shared a bill at Images in Fairview. “I can’t say for certain if or how much we spoke that night,” says Alana, “but I remember watching his band and talking to some of the members.” “I always thought he was cute,” she admits, “and I think he may have had a teeny crush on me.” While nothing outwardly came of it, Anthony plays it coy with his side of the story: “Let’s just say she was always one of my favorite local performers.”
Other relationships came and went, as did rock gigs—both continue to perform in bands (hers, Six to Eight Mathematics; his, The Atomic Disasters)—and Alana and Anthony’s paths continued to cross for another 10 years. “We both wound up in the same social circles through fellow musician friends,” Alana explains, “so we began to talk and hang out a bit more, little by little over the years.” Finally, in 2008, all that time getting to know each other led them to give dating a go. “Alana is a strong and independent type of person,” explains Anthony. “Like myself, this can sometimes be misunderstood as intense. But we are both very similar in that way and understand each other.” After dating for five years and supporting each other’s musical endeavors, their relationship culminated in what the couple calls their “rock ’n’ roll” wedding, complete with a cake shaped like a vinyl record and a marriage ceremony accompanied by live music. And forget about your typical ring exchange. The two instead exchanged guitar riffs—after performing Little Richard songs such as “The Girl Can’t Help It” and “Ooh! My Soul” instead of saying their vows. “Anthony’s straightforward and tells it like it is,” says Alana. “It’s one of the many awesome things I still love about him.”
