The Challenge Of Aging
If you’re past your 65th birthday, you’re on a journey. Here’s a road map for making it a success.
For years, Lisa Lovermi and her husband, Chris, had planned to retire to Florida. Then the pandemic arrived, reminding us all that life is fragile and convincing the Fair Lawn couple that proximity to family—both of their adult children live in Bergen County—was more valuable than the promise of a snowless winter. “All of a sudden, you realize how important that closeness to your family is,” says Lovermi, 66, who now plans to stay in Bergen. “We just feel safer and more confident living near our children.”
Nearby family is only one factor among many keeping residents here as they age. (According to the National Institutes of Health, Bergen has the state’s greatest number of residents 65 and older, and that population is rapidly growing: In 2010 some 15 percent of all Bergenites were 65 or older, versus 19 percent today.) Bergen is “a great place to age because there’s a lot to offer here, including cultural opportunities, restaurants, convenient transportation options, an excellent system of parks and access to some of the best medical care in the country,” says Jared Lautz, deputy chief of staff to County Executive Jim Tedesco and Bergen’s former acting director of human services. Our walkable downtowns and population density are conducive to the promotion of community, critical for successful aging. And seniors can avail themselves of an array of services, information and advice from municipalities, private organizations and the Division of Senior Services.
That means that the county is also a great place to plan for successful aging—and planning is critical. Research published in 2022 in the journal Geriatric Nursing concluded that “proactive planning for aging is a priority of the World Health Organization and can promote a healthy aging process.”
“Successful aging,” notes Terri Katz, M.D., an internal and geriatric medicine specialist at Englewood Health, “looks different for everyone. The goal isn’t perfection; it’s about maintaining quality of life, maximizing independence, managing pain and keeping loved ones involved. And achieving this often requires creativity and setting both short- and long-term goals.”
With that in mind, we’ve asked experts in four key areas for their advice on planning for and navigating the process of aging well.
FINANCES
“Will I outlive my money?” That’s the most common question older clients (and many younger ones as well) ask of Roger Moss, a financial advisor who works with many Bergenites at his Montville-based firm. “I always say, ‘You’re not going to outlive your money; you’re just going to cut your expenses,’” he says. Of course, neither outcome is ideal, so planning for retirement and/or whatever exigencies aging may bring is essential.
If you have a retirement account, such as an IRA or 401K, you’ll need to start rebalancing it for retirement, trading out higher-risk investments for those that are more conservative, about five years before you plan to retire. You can start the process, Moss advises, by estimating how much money you’re going to need each month when you’re no longer working. Next, determine your monthly income from Social Security and, if you’re lucky enough to have one, a pension. If that total is less than your monthly expenses, your retirement account should be fine-tuned to make up for the shortfall. A good financial advisor can help you do all this.
To get the most out of those Social Security benefits, you’ll need to start thinking about them before you’re eligible to collect—currently, the minimum age is 62, so you’d be wise to start your research around the time you turn 60. You’ll need to decide whether it would be more advantageous to start receiving benefits sometime before your so-called full retirement age—the age at which you qualify for maximum benefits—or wait to receive that maximum amount. You can find your full retirement age, determined by your birth year, along with an estimation of your benefits at ssa.gov/prepare/ plan-retirement. Social Security’s online checklist (ssa. gov/pubs/EN-05-10377.pdf) can help you decide when to file, as can a financial advisor or a call to the Senior Helpline, 201.336.7400, run by Bergen County’s Division of Senior Services. The helpline can also give you information about applying for Medicare, which you’ll likely want to do during your so-called initial enrollment period, beginning three months before you turn 65 and ending three months after.
HOUSING
Homes in Bergen are expensive, no matter your age or financial status, which makes housing a serious concern for anyone planning to spend retirement years here. Recent surveys indicate that between 75 and 90 percent of us hope to stay in our current homes as we get older—a process known as aging in place—though many aren’t sure that will be possible. Potential impediments include high housing costs, health problems and difficulties getting around outside the home.
The county’s Senior Helpline can connect older residents with services that can help them age in place. And for those who can’t, or would prefer not to, stay in their current homes, there are several other options:
—Moving in with family (or friends). Not only can it save you money (which you can then spend on in-home assistance if it’s needed), but it can also provide you with a built-in support system. —Moving to a 55-and-over community. You may associate them with Florida or the Southwest, but Bergen has a number of these seniors-only areas. They offer a variety of amenities (such as gyms, pools and maintenance-free living) and activities (clubs, for instance, for aficionados of pickleball, travel, mahjong, etc.) and a presumably congenial population of fellow seniors—people who can hear the song title “Big Girls Don’t Cry” and not necessarily think of Fergie. These communities’ most sought-after feature, according to Alica Snider, a Bergen Realtor who specializes in 55-and-over living, is a primary bedroom on the first floor, something hard to find in conventional homes in Bergen. Be aware, says Snider, that 55-and-overs tend to be expensive here, and these homes don’t come onto the market all that often, so you’d do well to consider such a move a year or more before you’re ready to make it.
—Moving to a lifecare community. Lifecare communities, also known as continuing care retirement communities, or CCRCs, offer a continuum of care, from independent living through 24-hour skilled nursing care. “No matter what somebody needs throughout their life regarding care, we’re able to provide it,” explains Steve Dumke, CEO of the nonprofit Christian Health, which runs a lifecare community, Longview, in Wyckoff. “You start out in the independent living setting,” he explains, “and then if you need rehab or home healthcare or assisted living, we provide it.” It’s an attractive option for seniors in relatively good health who anticipate a growing need for care; if you or your spouse, for instance, has a chronic condition like Parkinson’s disease or multiple sclerosis, a CCRC offers you the reassurance that you’ll always have access to the level of health care you need.
When shopping around for a community, find out exactly what kind of care will be available, as well as what amenities and activities are offered. Dumke recommends visiting a place at least twice, at different times of day, to get a real feel for it. And make sure you understand what you’re paying for. Payment schedules, which may include entrance and monthly fees (the latter rising as additional care is provided), can vary widely. You’ll also want to check the community’s financial viability. To help you evaluate a CCRC, the State of New Jersey offers an online guide at nj.gov/dca/codes/ publications/pdf_ccrc/ccrc2011.pdf.
If your housing plans include selling your present home, give yourself plenty of time to get ready for the sale and subsequent move. “If you’re thinking you want to do this in the next couple of years, you need to start cleaning out your house now,” says Snider. She also recommends enlisting the help of a real estate professional to advise you on updates that may (just possibly) translate into a faster and more profitable sale.
WELL-BEING
A sense of life satisfaction is essential to overall health and to successful aging, and nothing contributes to well-being in our later years like a supportive community. “Social and mental engagement are incredibly important,” says Dr. Katz, though the activities that tie us to community can vary widely, from a round of golf with friends to weekly dinners with family. Isolation can sneak up on us as we age: We may lose friends or family members; our own retirement can sever office connections; old friends may retire and move away. “As your life situation changes, you can become more isolated and lonely, and that can be a contributing factor to depression,” says Vicki Sherman, a licensed clinical social worker and the president of Generations Counseling & Care Management, which specializes in senior therapy.
To protect against isolation, consider getting involved, before retirement, in an activity that intrigues you. Vicki Lee of Edgewater, for instance, loved to cook, and a class in baking inspired her to enroll in a sourdough workshop. After retirement, she pursued her newfound passion through a series of breadmaking classes, where, she says, “I formed lasting friendships based on a shared love of flour and yeast.”
Bergen County offers older residents ample opportunities to get out and connect with others. There are 50 senior activity centers, some hosted by local municipalities and 10 run by the county’s Division of Senior Services. “They provide vital socialization, food in the form of hot lunches, and activities like singing, line dancing, drum circles, ESL and Zumba,” says Lautz of the county government. Other senior perks include discounts on golf and tennis at county parks, a tuition waiver program for learners 65 and older at Bergen Community College and up to 60 percent off tickets at participating AMC Theatres through the county’s Golden Key card.
Keeping active and connected helps to fend off depression, something that nearly three in 10 seniors will experience, according to the National Institutes of Health. Precipitating factors, says Sherman, can include “a loss of purpose, fear of financial insecurity and losses of spouses, friends and family members.” The antidote, she adds, is to regain that sense of purpose through activities that are meaningful to you, but “if depression is still a struggle, then it’s important to see a professional therapist or enroll in a support group with others who are going through the same things.”
HEALTH
When it comes to aging in good health, preparation and maintenance look remarkably similar. “Staying active is key,” says Dr. Katz. “Ideally, 150 minutes of exercise per week, mixing cardio for heart health, weight-bearing exercises for bone strength and balance training. If physical therapy is beneficial, I encourage patients to continue long term.” Medical challenges increase as we age, which means finding a family doctor you trust is critical. And if doctor visits start to feel overwhelming, says Dr. Katz, “having a family member present can ensure clear communication, follow-through on recommendations and an accurate medication list, making care more effective.”
As we get older, two health concerns loom particularly large: falling and dementia. In fact, falling, which can lead to injury, disability and in some cases death, is the No. 1 worry among adults in their 80s and of great concern to those in their 70s and even younger. Balance is the key to preventing falls, and a 2022 study published in the British Journal of Sports Medicine found that good balance was associated with longer life. You can test your balance by seeing how long you can stand on one leg, an activity that involves multiple body systems. If you’re 69 or younger, you should be able to hold the position for at least 30 seconds, in your 70s, for at least 20 seconds, and for at least 10 seconds in your 80s. You can improve balance at any age: Ask your doctor for some simple balance-honing exercises, one of which is, not surprisingly, standing on one leg.
As for dementia, a 2025 study funded by the National Institutes of Health puts the odds of developing Alzheimer’s disease and related dementias after the age of 55 at 42 percent. Though there’s no sure way to prevent dementia, research indicates that we can help preserve cognitive abilities by protecting our physical health overall through nutrition and physical activity, maintaining healthy blood pressure, taking care of our mental health and engaging in activities such as photography or quilting that stimulate us and encourage learning.
“At the end of the day,” says Dr. Katz, “aging well is about balance, staying active, engaged and connected in ways that feel natural and fulfilling.”
